Thai Culture: Some Latest Thai Military Jokes

My Siamese cats make bad soldiers

By Stingray, this blog national security journalist

Why is there as many Thai military generals as in the American military?

You need a lot of generals to protect the tiny group of ruling class Thais.

How good is the current Thai constitution, drawn up by the last military coup?

The current constitution guarantees the right of every Thai to live under military influences.

Why did the military promote Abhisit’s cousin to head a key coup staging military unit?

Probably because Abhisit is tired of being propped up by the current military chief and wants to be propped up by his cousin.

Who becomes Thai generals?

The more unstable and risk taking they are, the higher they move up the ranks.

Why so many rich kids wants to become Thai generals?

Because they like ordering people around and then having the same people kiss their butts.

Why does the Thai navy want submarines?

So it can hunt for the “Red” October, and December, and January and ……anything Red actually

How can the future Thai army boss dare says he is sick of the sight of any one of the millions of Red Shirt?

Because nobody dares tell him to see a psychologist to cure the mental sickness.

Are not the Red Shirt scared of the Thai military?

The Red Shirt are only scared that there will not be enough refugees boat to help the millions of Thais Exodus out of Thailand when the military stage another coup.

Why does the Thai military like to stage coup so much?

Because it is the only time they can show-off the power of their shiny useless tanks and sometimes the streets of Bangkok is too peaceful.

What is the best signal if the Thai generals plan to stage a coup?

When they get pissed off that politicians gets priority at golfing rounds.

Does not the Thai military see the millions of Red Shirt as Thais?

The Thai military sees the Red Shirt as targets for practicing their sharp shooting skill.

How many more Thais will have to sacrifice their life against the military coup?

Until the Thai military runs out of bullets.

Does not the Thai military love the Thai people at all?

The military only thinks Thais in military uniforms are people and the rest are just crazy animals.

Is there no one who can talk senses into the Thai generals?

Only cute chicks with big boobs can whisper into the Thai generals ears what to do when they just finished screwing.

So what are the Thai generals good for, really?

Protecting Thailand from clear and presence big danger from little countries like Cambodia.

Why did the Thai military sent F16 and F-5 to intercept Taksin’s private jet leaving Cambodia?

Because the Thai air force is afraid the private jet will release bombs on Bangkok.

Is the Thai military that bad for Thailand?

The Thai military is so bad for Thailand, the dictionary now says the word “Hopeless” refers to how the Thai military makes people feel.

Why are big Thai generals rich beyond belief?

Who knows, except the Thai military rank and files are poor beyond belief.

Will Thais support another coup?

It depends on how well can the military controlled media spin the coup into a good news and how fast the general’s wife can send their servants to greet the tanks with flowers.

When will the Thai military truly becomes professional?

They are cutting edge professional when it comes to staging coup.

What ever happened to that group of professional Thai soldiers who called themselves the Democratic soldiers?

They were promoted to in-active posts, and the so-called Dictatorship Soldiers were promoted to take over the Thai military.

But really, the Thai military must have a good solution to the problems of Thailand?

The term long-term strategic winning is referred to by the Thai military as too long for  their attention span.

The Thai military must be good for protecting Thailand’s national security?

The Thai generals think their own wallet’s security is about national security.

When will coups stop occurring in Thailand?

Good question, probably when Thailand becomes so backward it can’t afford gasoline to bring out the tanks for coups.

What does the Thai generals love?

It is not love with the Thai generals, it is what they hate less. And they hate themselves the least, and hate the Red Shirt the most.

Why do arms dealers love Thai generals so much?

Because arms dealers get to go to Switzerland, Cayman Islands, and Bahamas a lot to open up secret bank accounts.

Does the annual Thai-American military exercise helps the Thai military to be more professional?

Actually, the Americans are only interested in getting the Thai general to help pimp Thai call girls and make American soldier better at kinky sex.

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